Marina won and Mom lost. This is called Win-Lose. But has Marina really won? Maybe she has this time, but how does Mom feel? And what’s she going to do the next time she has a chance to get even with Marina? That’s why in the long run it never pays to think Win-Lose. Win-Lose is an attitude toward life that says the pie of success is only so big, and if you get a big piece there is less for me. So I’m going to make sure I get my slice first or that I get a bigger piece than you. Win-Lose is competitive. I call it the totem pole syndrome. “I don’t care how good I am as long as I’m a notch higher than you on the totem pole.” Relationships, friendships, and loyalty are all secondary to winning the game, being the best, and having it your way.

What is win-lose? (Use the reading to define it.)


Explain the totem pole syndrome.


What do you think can be wrong with this syndrome?


What do you think is a better way to think?