Read the rough draft of a student's conclusion to an argumentative
editorial.
(1) Year-round schooling would help student achievement. (2) Not so
much information would have to
be crammed into nine months. (3)
Furthermore, the
elimination of long breaks, particularly summer
break, would significantly
reduce "learning loss" and the additional
time wasted at the beginning
of each academic year to reteach
previously learned
material. (4) It is clear that year-round schooling
helps students learn
and retain more. (5) The United States is not the
only country to
experiment with a year-round school schedule. (6)
Although many
still claim that evidence about year-round school and
its link to higher
achievement is inconclusive, these people need to
open their eyes
and see that students in these schools consistently
score higher on
certain assessments than students who attend
schools with traditional nine-month calendars. (7) It is about time that
we replaced
our outdated and inefficient school calendars.
Which best revises sentence 6 to create a more appropriate and
respectful tone?
O Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school
and its link
to higher achievement is inconclusive, studies
consistently reveal that year-round students score higher on certain
assessments than
those students who attend schools with
traditional nine-month calendars.
Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school
and its link
to higher achievement is inconclusive, this theory is
wrong
because students in year-round schools consistently score
higher on certain assessments than those students who attend
schools
with traditional nine-month calendars.
O Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school
and its
link
to
higher achievement is inconclusive, they would admit
defeat if only they would do their research and find that students in
year-
round schools consistently score higher on certain
assessments than those students who attend schools with
traditional nine-month calendars.
Although many still claim that evidence out year-round school
and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people
need to study their facts and acknowledge that students in year-
round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments
than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month
calendars.