I used to think that grown-up people chose
To have stiff backs and wrinkles round their nose,
And veins like small fat snakes on either hand,
On purpose to be grand.
Till through the banisters I watched one day
My great-aunt Etty's friend who was going away,
And how her onyx beads had come unstrung.
I saw her grope to find them as they rolled;
And then I knew that she was helplessly old,
As I was helplessly young.

Poem analysis

Perception of Aging: Initially, the speaker believes that adults choose to have physical signs of aging, such as stiff backs and wrinkles, to appear dignified or grand. This reflects a childlike misunderstanding of aging.

Innocence and Realization: The moment of realization comes when the speaker observes an older woman, Great-aunt Etty's friend, who struggles to pick up her fallen beads. This incident shifts the speaker's understanding from a naive view to a recognition of the vulnerability and helplessness associated with old age.

Symbolism: The onyx beads symbolize the fragility and disarray that can accompany aging. Their rolling away illustrates how control can slip away over time.

Contrasts: The poem highlights a stark contrast between the child's youthful helplessness and the elderly woman’s helplessness due to age. This duality underlines a shared human experience despite the differences in age.

Tone and Mood: The tone starts with a sense of curiosity and naivety and shifts to a more somber and empathetic mood as the speaker gains a deeper understanding of aging.

Overall, the poem poignantly captures the child's awakening to the realities of aging, evoking both empathy and a bittersweet recognition of life's stages.